Stack 'n' Fly

so a fellow blogger planned, planned and planned for her journey with her 2 children to Thailand which was 4 flights the longest being something like 16 hours long! Granted, my flight is an incomparable measly 8 hours and I am 24 not 2 years old. BUT I am my parents child. Meaning I cannot sit in one place without being VERY entertained for more than 1 hour like my Dad. We like to walk around, use the restroom frequently, and hate feeling trapped! Plus, I also get some wonderful characteristics from my mom- motion sickness AND the inability to sleep on transportation unless HIGHLY medicated. So with these combined factors I feel like a ticking bomb on the plane... sitting there imagining opening the door and jumping out to freedom- to breathable, germ free AIR (yeah I know...crazy... but you'd only understand if you had anxiety.)

So I have begun to not only plan for my time at home, but my time on my trip home. I was very lucky on my first flight over nearly one year ago. I flew some Asian airline who upgraded me to Business Class. And even though most of the world complains about flight delays- I LOVED most of my 5 hour delay in Chicago because it allowed me to drink at the bar, watch Auburn Football, and meet random business men to talk to instead of thinking about the crazy thing I was doing. I slept nicely the ENTIRE trip over thanks to those drinks and my wonderful reclining chair. However, on my flight home for Thanksgiving I was MUCH less fortunate and was seated next to a VERY obese man, his wife, and their new born baby... right next to the Flight Attendant Station isle seat. Meaning I was either knocked awake by the carts passing or politely asked to move by the couple sitting next/with to me (I add with since his fat was spilling over into my seat) Not that I was sleeping anyway since the baby cried since her parents had NOTHING for her to do and like previously stated- I CAN'T SLEEP ON PLANES!! As for other flights I have blocked them from my memory, unless I had a friend with me to sleep on or was on a nice British flight with booze constantly flowing. Unfortunately, Himself is not traveling with me to be my human pillow and I will be flying Delta.

My plan thus far isn't so great... I need help... no I need a miracle. I have podcasts, tv shows, music, books, comics, travel pillow and sedatives. I read a wonderful idea in a book last night that I truly wish would be instituted on oversea flights. Allow me to share with you the "Stack 'n' Fly System:"

You check your bags as usual then you go to your gate and lie down on strechers where you are immediately met by a nurse who administers a knock-out shot. Then the passangers are boarded onto the planes- strechers stacked of course! You are completely out, in dream land, la la land, happy times, until you land at your destination. How perfect is this? You know of nothing during travel, no delays, no anxeity, no crappy airline food- and plus airlines could save loads of money by not feeding those passengers and since we are stackable more people can fit on one flight!

Genuis yes I know, I wish I could take credit for making it up... but I didn't- Marian Keyes did. BUT if any of you know of fesiable ways to get me home without feeling the desire to jump out parachuteless- please let me know! I know I have genuis friends- one of you surely can invent a 'Beam me up Scotty' machine or something before I leave! If not, I will be seeing you all in Bama a bit frazzled on Tuesday the 26th... and this is my reminder that I spent A LOT on this ticket home... and expect drinks to help compensate that cost and anxeity! ;)